Diary of a Sex-Starved Pseudo-Mennonite, Part 54

The cable company fucked me so I hung up on them. And now I have no TV or internet in my apartment, back to my Amish roots churning butter and stacking quilting squares. Val got a hotspot for me yesterday cuz I was busy. He was under time pressure because our contractor was meeting us at his apartment at 7 pm. Sensing his time pressure vulnerability, the service provider fucked Val. I cannot hang up on them. Because it is Val's account, not mine.

My contractor is Val's buddy. He is rehabbing my house with the energy and attention Dr. Phil puts into rehabbing assholes on camera. No detail missed. Only the best goods and services. 

There is a critter living under the house. I caught Daisy trying to eat its gray slimy scat the other day. The contractor seems to think it's urgent that I get the animal removed. I want to lay down. But I'm too tired.

I bought my house for Daisy. I did not know that Val's tiny Boston Terrier and petite but portly Brussels Griffon would be moving in, too. Daisy may try to eat them. It's a matter of concern.

Val bought me a lawn mower. His family is freaking out in a good way because Val is notoriously noncommittal and has only lived with a woman once in all of his 53 years and let's just say it did not go well. But he's moving to another state now with some chick he's known for 3 months and buying lawnmowers and putting me on his phone and internet plan. Everyone in his world wants to meet me because they Can't. Fucking. Believe it.

Val has never married or knowingly fathered children. He picked women to date who could not have any more kids on purpose, because he thought he was unfit to be a father. Like I thought I was unfit to be a mother. Then he helped 2 sets of chicks raise kids that weren't his and figured out he would have been a good dad. Too late. Like me figuring out I'm a good mom. Through Daisy. Too late. 

We don't know if we'll get a miracle baby. Val wishes he met me 20 years ago.. But 20 years ago I was busy getting fucked in every sense of the word by Satan.. Big Al read my palm and told me I'd have 2 kids. She also took me to a psychic who told me I'd have 2 kids. The last night I spent with Drummer Boy, he put his hands on my naked stomach and told me he hoped it got bigger because of what it would mean. Then he said he hoped it would get bigger twice. That was about a week before he ghosted me.

Maybe I'll just wrestle the raccoon or skunk or possum or whatever out from under my house myself, put it in a bonnet and a bassinet, and call it good.

Until Next Time, Sweeties!

Ness Sweet Ness