Diary of a Sex-Starved Pseudo-Mennonite, Part 44

"It doesn't seem like it's hard to fuck you. I like things that are hard," I said to 1 guy never. In my imagination, I look really cool when I say this, cuz of the smirk at the end. My smirk. Then his.

Sometimes I get bored in the presence of continual dick jokes. Like people arguing about politics bored. Like watching Mr. Roger's puppets bored. Like Lawrence Welk with Nana and Papa bored. Dick jokes aren't hard. What is it that people are hiding behind their big, fat, thick sack of dick jokes?

When I lived in the West, I decided so many people I loved in the Midwest were alcoholics because being a Midwesterner is inherently boring, so you have to drink. If people didn't get juiced, what would they do? Now that I am back and know I have ADHD, so I may get bored regardless of my nearness to cornfields, I don't know what to think. Are dick jokes the new booze? A completely free social armour you can indulge in 24-7 and still drive home safe?

When I was a teenager, my brother liked to wear a shirt he made himself that said "Eat Me" with lips around it rendered well enough to avoid Rolling Stones copywrite issues (they are SO litigious). If my stuff wasn't in another state, I would post a photo of him in it with this blog. You'd love it. He's wearing the "Eat Me" shirt in my adoptive grandmother's kitchen for a visit with my bio dad, a special event for my brother. The "Eat Me" shirt was like my brother's tux and tails. In the photo, my brother's hand is raised and he's lecturing us sans stage and podium. I believe my father took the photo because he loved the "Eat Me" shirt so much. My dad and brother are probably why dick jokes make me yawn (wide enough to...).

I know I'm being a dick by attacking this sack-rid cow. People love dick jokes. And there's Omicron and folks are barely making it, so why on earth do I want to dick with something people have loved so hard, and for so long?

I'm a dick.

Until Next Time, Sweeties!

Ness Sweet Ness